Staying Stuck Serves A Purpose

I spent my 20’s feeling somewhat aimless.  I was a nanny, a barista, a waitress, a personal assistant, a pet sitter, an administrative assistant, and a yoga teacher with a few other odd jobs thrown in for good measure.  

I not only had a lot of shame and inner conflict about not having more clarity about what I “should be” doing with my life, but to make matters worse, I was perpetually putting my life on hold trying to heal from ill health and acne.  

I convinced myself that when I was healed I’d finally be able to live the life I wanted to live.  When I was healed, everything would fall into place. When I was healed, my life would look like it was “supposed” to look.

After years of telling myself this story and things not changing, I realized that a part of my identity became defined by what was “wrong with me,” and that in ways, maintaining this identity gave me a pass to not have to take risks.  

In a very roundabout way, it was providing a sense of emotional safety and security.   Albeit a false one.

There is a question that is helpful to ask if you find yourself unable to move forward in your life; “What do I get to avoid  feeling or experiencing by staying stuck?”

We often don’t realize that we aren’t only sheltering ourselves from negative emotions, but positive ones too.  

In my case, I was sheltering myself from: rejection, failure and fear of the unknown, but ALSO, security, fulfillment, pride, health, joy and success.

So, If I were to ask you, “What do you get to avoid feeling or experiencing by __________…”  

What would you say?

Sending you all my love,

Kaitlyn