I remember the first time I heard about the Japanese practice of Kintsugi. It is a practice where the cracks of a beloved broken vessel are filled in using liquid gold. The gold is seen as making the item even more valuable, only enhancing its original beauty.

If we apply this idea to our own pain, we can begin to see that our pain is a portal to transformation. Albeit, it is often not an easy one. There’s the saying that hardship can make you better or bitter. When we are hurting and life feels unfair, it’s tempting to become bitter and to lose hope that there are brighter days ahead, that the thing we’ve lost will ever be replaced, or that we will heal. The problem with bitterness is that it is like a noose around our own neck. It pulls us down, holds us back and keeps us from living a life that is fulfilling, joyful and expansive.

How then do we deal with our pain? The only way out is through. The only way to get to the other side of our pain is to sit with it, to sift through it, to feel it, to look at it and to allow it. By sitting with our pain and acknowledging it over and over saying, “I see you. I am willing to be transformed by you. I am compassionately witnessing you, “ our cracks slowly begin to fill with gold. In time, when we get to the other side of our struggle, the gold cracks will be a beautiful reminder of our strength, resilience, and perseverance. They will remind us of the grace that has carried us. We’ll take pride in knowing that we are standing on a foundation that can’t be shaken because we have learned to weather the storms that life has thrown at us, and have come out on the other side, better.