I know that often we think about making a home with another person. We imagine falling in love and building a life. How often though, do we tell ourselves, “I want to make a home with you.”

A good friend of mine recommended This is How I Save My Life , a memoir about one woman’s journey to India to receive stem cell therapy in a desperate attempt to heal her chronic Lyme disease. Towards the end of her stay in India after receiving 6 weeks of treatment in a country utterly foreign in every way, the author Amy Scher had a revelation; she had been living a disembodied life. Her life had been lived attempting to be perfect, to never make mistakes, all the while constantly seeking the approval of others at the expense of her own feelings, wants and needs. As a result, she realized that her body had become a storehouse for years of pent up, unexpressed emotions, self-judgement and critique. This revelation was the foundation for what would come next.

After receiving the stem cell therapy and returning to her life in California, Amy’s Lyme symptoms had improved, but down the road, a slew of new health challenges in the form of endometriosis and a chronic Epstein Barr infection took their place. The words of one of her doctors in India came back to her, “You can heal yourself.” After doing everything possible to heal her physical body, she recognized that perhaps the reason her body wasn’t healing was because of…her. She started focusing on healing her mind, spirit, and emotions. She owned who she is and who she had been, started to feel her emotions without reproach, said no to the things that were not aligned with her values, chose to put her energy into things and people that brought her joy, addressed toxic subconscious beliefs, and released pent up emotions. After a few months of learning to show up for herself, her debilitating symptoms began to clear. Amy had made a home for herself within herself.

I believe this is a journey each one of us is on. We’ve all been programmed to reject or neglect certain parts of ourselves in order to be more “acceptable” to others. But, when we disown the very things that make us who we are, we create an environment in our bodies that is confused and frayed. This is so common with those suffering from chronic illness. Often we see physical symptoms as things to fight against, so much so that our bodies and psyches start to feel like war zones. What we fail to see is that typically mounting a fight is not the answer. What we really need is to be able to see ourselves in our fullness and offer our beautiful bodies and hearts peace, acceptance and love. We need to begin to see and acknowledge how good we are as we are. We need to create a welcoming home within ourselves. A wonderful place to dwell. When the body can relax and trust that the environment we are creating inside of it is safe and loving, then the true healing can begin, just as it did for Amy.

Sending my love. xo